Wedding Lies, Honesty, and Compromises

When you get married, it is assumed that sharing your life with someone means being completely honest with that person. Well, as it turns out, sometimes a little white lie is appreciated. For example, always say “no” when the questions is “Do I look fat?” or “You don’t mind if I watch the game with the guys?”

Leading up to the wedding, you will learn just exactly what you can and cannot get away with. While there will be times to lie, there will also be times to be honest and make compromises with your spouse-to-be.

You hate the engagement ring

Your boyfriend gets down on his knee, the moment you’ve always waited for, flashes a small box, flips it open, and reveals the ugliest ring you have ever seen. Yay!

In this situation, you need to be honest. You will wear this ring for the rest of your life; do you really want that ugliness staring at you every day from your finger? After a few days, sit down your fiancé and tell him you love him, but not the ring he has picked out. He may get his feelings hurt, but he will understand your relationship will be stronger for it.

Planning the wedding

Most guys don’t care about the specifics of the wedding. Planning the dream wedding is the woman’s business. She has planned it out since she was a little girl and now has the chance to make her vision a reality. She can pick the florist, the Los Angeles wedding venue, the photographer, the color scheme, and everything else as long as the boyfriend doesn’t mind.

But wait; suddenly she is asking his opinion on everything. What color do you want the roses? What font do you want the invitations printed in? Should I seat my Aunt Bernice next to Uncle Ross or Cousin Will?

And what is the groom’s response? Silent nodding. He doesn’t have an opinion and would prefer that his wife be satisfied, but suddenly she thinks he is holding back. “He hasn’t spoken a word during the entire trip to the florist; he must be annoyed,” she thinks. No, he is just zoned out.

Ladies, you need to believe that he is honestly uninterested in these minute details. You pick whatever you want. If he does have a strong opinion, like which champagne to serve or who to hire as DJ, then take it to heart. Otherwise, consider his silence as consent to have free reign for decision-making.

The groom wishes everything cost less

Future grooms, one area where you must put your foot down is the cost of the wedding. It is rare in today’s world that the bride’s father pays for the entire wedding- more likely the costs are divided between the couple and their parents. If you’re fronting some of the money for your wife’s wedding, you may want to tell her to pump the breaks.

You want to give your bride the world. You want her to be ecstatic and have the perfect wedding. But entering into a union after blowing all your money on the wedding is foolish. How far back does that push your desire to buy a house? Will you have extra funds for the honeymoon? Shouldn’t you be saving up for the future of your family?

Calmly explain to your bride that you want to limit her spending by making small cuts. If she is dead-set on a certain wedding dress, compromise to let her have it if she reduces her cake budget.

With excellent communication, you and your fiancé will enter your marriage with a deep understanding of when to be open and honest with each other and when to shut up.


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